So Bridget, Jacob, and I have all started back to school. For Bridget it is the same routine she has been used to the last two years while I was home with the little warrior. For me, I have to admit after the first day I was seriously considering leaving education and finding another job in the world of paint. Of course, this was a normal feeling after so many changes that had become comfortable and welcome - as the main caregiver the last two school years.

I returned to fourth grade (a new grade level for me), a new school, and the thought that I most certainly will not be seeing as much of my son as I had grown accustomed. It was culture shock for that first day.

After an almost full week (four days because of Labor Day), I am back on the bike so to speak. I feel comfortable, confident, and pretty secure in the assumption that I can do this for the next 24 years or so. I’m back.

Jacob, on the other hand, is in a world of hurt. The first few days were fine for him. My mother watched him everyday until he began nursery school on Wednesday. That’s when the castle began to crumble.

The first morning I dropped him off and he seemed eager to go - after months of saying “that’s your school” as we drove by it all summer long. I brought him into the school and we met Ms. Monica, one of the teachers. She seemed very kind and Jacob was okay with a hug and a kiss goodbye from me. He didn’t cry - or so I thought.

I left and arrived at school ten minutes later. I taught all morning, with thoughts of him in my head, and then I received an upsetting email from the woman who cares for Jacob the three afternoons he goes to school. She said he cried almost all morning and was asking to go home. I was so disappointed and heartbroken to hear that he did not enjoy his morning. The rest of his day was more blissful, as he really likes Gal and staying with her for lunch and a nap.

I arrived home that afternoon, after picking Jacob up at Gal’s, and I spoke with Bridget about what happened. We both agreed that CHANGE is hard. I had survived mine the week before, and he was going to survive his. We sent Jacob back on Thursday and Friday morning.

Each day he cried when I left (I’m the lucky one who gets this job - since I start my day ten minutes later), but he also stopped crying shortly after I left. I am okay with that for now. The big picture of socialization and learning is much more important than a few tears.

The hardest part in all of this is that as a parent we all have to let go a little. At two and half, Jacob is more of a person than ever. To keep him isolated from the world could be tougher later on. So he will go to nursery school - whether he likes it or not.

Hopefully he will like it more in time. We think he will. Of course, for now we will have to put up with, “I don’t want to go to school anymore.”

I know what you mean, brother. I know what you mean.

Resist. Multiply. Don’t cry when your kid does.

Our president made CHANGE the center of his campaign. I have talked about it much lately, too. It is an inevitable thing. We cannot avoid it. Change comes to us all in many forms and many connotations. In less than two weeks I will embark on yet another change in my life. I’ve seen numerous changes to my life in the last two years, and perhaps the best has been the addition of Jacob into it. He is an absolute joyful son and each day with him has been a blessing.

Now the hard part is coming….letting go a bit. In September I go back to work full time and Jacob will be enrolled in nursery school three mornings a week. The rest of the time he will be with my amazing mother and another fantastic woman, Valerie, a mother of four boys, all grown. Of course, my mother-in-law will help plenty, as well. She is terrific and Jacob loves both his grandmothers so much. This was the best we could do for the first five months of the school year. Bridget and I wanted to ease the little man into school and also allow him to keep his nap schedule. Again we are lucky to have great support - even if we have to pay for some of it.

CHANGE is upon us all in many good ways, but I know I will feel a huge pang of sadness at letting go of the best two years of fatherhood - staying home with Jacob. I have bonded with my son and he has done the same with me, but I somehow feel he will be more resilient. Ironic, isn’t it? He’s two and a half and I am thirty one, but he is better equipped at letting go. How did that happen?

The newest and best news I have to offer is that Bridget and I are expecting again. Yes, it’s true and you can feel free to send a congratulations our way if you feel inclined. That CHANGE will be here in February. Until then, Jacob will be telling all who will listen, “I’m going to be a big brother.”

Resist. Multiply. Accept CHANGE because what is the alternative?

A buddy of mine from way back just opened his own restaurant in the town I grew up in. Jacob, Bridget, myself, and my parents all got lunch there today. The food is excellent, the prices are low, and the service is top-notch! Check it out here.

Tell Steve that Dean sent you…

Recently I bought the little warrior a helmet to wear when he rides his little power wheels go cart in the backyard. Here’s a fun video I shot of my father playing around with Jacob. It’s priceless. Yes, this is the ever famous 80’s Dad in action. Enjoy.

Resist. Multiply. Expect more writing next week.

In just two short days Bridget and I will depart for France and England with a tour of high school choir students. Owen will keep things going in my absence, but I have plans to write some international pieces when I return. Jacob will be in good hands with my overjoyed parents - as he gets a week of pampering I am sure to not have had as a child. We will miss him, but he is too young for this trip.

For now, I offer my congratulations to the United States men’s soccer team for an amazing 2 - 0 win over number one ranked Spain. They may not be the best team in the world, but they beat the current best team with true grit and determination. I will be cheering for them in France on Sunday.

Until I return, keep resisting, keep multiplying, and keep reading our blog!

-Dean

So this morning I gave Jacob a bath. This has become a daily necessity since he gets so sweaty the day before while playing in the warm soon-to-be summer sun. Today he struck me as particularly smart when he said, “Look, Daddy, I swim like a fish!” Sure enough, he was laying on his stomach, kicking his legs like a little swimmer.

Then he proceeded to drink the dirty bath water in the tub and all thoughts of genius were erased. Yikes!

Nevertheless, Jacob continues to amaze me with how expressive his language is getting. I read somewhere recently that the more we encourage him to speak, the more we actually speak to him and explain the world around him, and the more we introduce new words to him, the more he will gain language and understanding of his surroundings. It is an awesome thing to be a part of. I feel a certain parental pride when he speaks and speaks well. To me, it is a huge milestone and one I am happy to witness daily.

Interestingly enough, I am probably the second quietest Prescott in my immediate family (my mother being the first), and I always knew that there was a chance that he would be a talker - much like my father and brother. Hopefully he will learn to filter his speaking, as my father has not yet mastered this ability at 63 years young. Oh well, as I said before he is the best and worst of me. I only pray that Jacob is the best of me in this arena. Sometimes silence is the preferred mode.

For now, I will sit back and listen to everything the little warrior has to say to Bridget and myself. He is quite the talker in and out of the tub. Now if I could only get him to stop drinking the bath water!

Resist. Multiply. Don’t drink the bath water.

Well it has been a long time since my last post loyal readers. Sorry for that. I was away with the family on a beautiful and relaxing trip to sunny Las Vegas to visit Bridget’s grandmother and aunt. Jacob had a blast and we got to do some really fun things as a family. 

We left on Monday and returned in the early morning hours of what became Saturday (with the three hour time difference). Luckily, the little man was excellent on both plane trips - a total of 10 hours on my lap. We brought the usual helpers - a portable DVD player and some Elmo, Doodlebop, and Little Einstein shows - some coloring books - tons of his little matchbox cars - and of course, lots and lots of snacks. This is the last journey that will involve the harness and Jacob on my lap, however. Next time around he is going to be sitting in his own chair between Bridget and myself. He’s getting too big for the lap and we can’t fake the fact that he is a full blown toddler these days.

At any rate, we got to enjoy the warmer, less rainy weather of Las Vegas for a few days. There was no time in the pool due to some wind and cooler temperatures (for Las Vegas standards), but we got to experience a great park, an amazing scenic drive in Red Rock Canyon, a cool trip to the conservatory, and precious time with Jacob’s great grandmother and great aunt. That was the best part.

Here’s a terrific shot from our drive around Red Rock Canyon and a few more that will probably make you smile, too.

Red Rock Canyon - even better than gambling!

Jacob fell asleep next to grandma. He missed the canyon part. Oh well.

We visited Aunt Martha’s school. She’s the best.

If you are looking for a story about gambling this time around - sorry folks. We gambled plenty by taking a two year old on a flight to Las Vegas. Enough said.

Next time: Manchester United - Happiness and Heartache

Resist. Multiply. Visit family.

Yesterday was Jacob’s second birthday. He brought in the day with a lot of energy, some gifts, visits at lunch from Bridget, and all his grandparents. We capped off the birthday meal with a cupcake. Take a closer look at the little man in action. It’s priceless.

This thing is so good. How did I get it on my hand?

I killed that cupcake, son.  Killed it.

More writing to come….it’s been a busy time for us all.

Resist. Multiply. Eat a cupcake and get it all over yourself.

Bridget and I had the chance to catch the Slumdog movie on Sunday night. My parents babysat Jacob and we got a night out - even if it was a day after Valentine’s. It was appreciated and well worth it. The movie was terrific. The story line basically follows a young Indian orphan through his life. The events of his life explain how he is able to answer questions on the popular game show “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”  Danny Boyle directed this visually stunning film. He’s best known for Trainspotting. The soundtrack is a pretty good purchase, as well. I bought it on itunes when I got home. Very cool stuff from A.R. Rahman.  Check it out and watch the trailer below.

I’m at a point in my life when movies make me think more about my own life and the things that are going on in it. After watching this film, I was very thankful for the life I live here in America. Even more so, I was extremely grateful that my son has all the chances he has in this country. This is not to say that India is without beauty and splendor - it is just to say that there are parts of this crazy world that do not always handle humanity in the way that we have grown accustomed in America. We are not a perfect people for sure…..but that is a tale for another time. 

Resist. Multiply. See Slumdog.

Friday I took Jacob to get his third haircut. A toddler haircut is not an easy event by any means. It takes patience, help from grandma, and lots of time. Our journey began at 10 am when my mother came over to accompany us to a mall about twenty miles away from our home. The reason for such long travels is simple: the place to go has a cool tractor to sit in and get the whole haircut process started.

Jacob has been to this place with Bridget and me two other times. Once last summer when his hair was so curly it was making us both hot, and once before Thanksgiving. He now is used to the whole process and he seems to kind of like it. The tractor is cool, there’s a seat belt to hold him in, and they have a TV that plays Elmo videos if needed. Besides the haircuts are cheap and the people are very, very nice.    

Jacob began the cut with no smile present on his little face.

Soon he warmed up to the lady doing the cut, but I had to hold his hands most of the time - for fear of him losing a finger to her blades.  He kept reaching up to grab at the scissors and the buzzer. Luckily, he stopped once I held his hands.

My mother was impressed with how long the little man sat still. He was in the tractor for at least ten minutes - which is a long time for anyone who has a toddler. He got a great haircut as a result.

The reward for being such a good boy - a ride on the train afterwards. Priceless. No more curls for a little while. Give it some time and some rainy weather. They’ll be back.   

Resist. Multiply. Ride that train!

Not a day goes by that I do not think of how fortunate Bridget and I are to have such wonderful parents who have become even more amazing grandparents to Jacob.  We are truly very blessed to have their support and help in almost every situation that arises in our busy lives.

Let’s start with my folks.  I have never met two more self-sacrificing people in my life.  Despite both being retired (realistically just redirected) they both manage to give their time and energy to my family and me.  My mother is kind enough to watch Jacob twice a week while I paint homes inside and out with my father.  I know Jacob really enjoys the days I am home with him, but he is extra excited when his grandma comes to spend the day.  Additionally, my parents offer to baby-sit often enough for Bridget and me to get out and see a movie or have a nice dinner alone in a restaurant.  My father pays me well enough from our business that we can afford to have me home these last two years and also so that we can put a little away for the future.  I am forever in their debt for this experience.  Without their help, I may not have been able to do it.

Of course, there are Bridget’s parents, as well.  They are cut from the same mold as my parents (perhaps that is why they both get along so well) and they make plenty of sacrifices for us, too.  Each Tuesday afternoon I drive Jacob over to their home so that I can attend graduate school while Bridget is teaching her children’s choir at our church.  By 6:00 p.m. we are all together enjoying a home cooked meal and I know Jacob is in good hands while I am in class.  Every Sunday we go over their home again to get treated to some fabulous homemade pizza while Jacob runs wild throughout the house.  In the summers we get to spend numerous trips down the shore at the shore house in L.B.I.  Good food and good stories are a staple of these visits.

The point in all this, is that we feel fortunate to have both sets of grandparents around and available to be a large part of Jacob’s life.  As I have said in the past, our lives have changed for the better, but that change can be overwhelming and confusing in the beginning.  I am sure my brother Owen is feeling that way at times, and I know he must feel great amounts of gratitude to all those that help aid him and Stella in their everyday adventures with Dalton.

The economy may be in the toilet, but at least we have each other.  There’s nothing wrong with being thankful and happy despite the chaotic climate of our times.

Tuesday: Seeing The Black Crowes From 9th and 34th

Resist. Multiply. Tomorrow - VOTE.

The complications were:

1. Your mother had a fever

2. You might have a fever

3. She had been in active labor for 40 hours and was exhausted

Luckily an hour later your dad came into the waiting room, in his doctor clothes (he looked pretty cool) and told us all that a baby boy was born and his name was Dalton. We all cheered and went to give your Dad a kiss. What wonderful day! Dalton is finally here!

You were born exactly at 7:49 the night of August 18th. It’s funny but some of the keepsakes that your Mom and Dad may have kept may say that the time of birth was 7:14 p.m., but that is wrong. It was 7:49 at night. Actually the times were given in military time to eliminate any possible confusion between daytime and nighttime hours. In military time you were born at 1944 hours – 7:49 at night. If you were born at 7:49 in the morning the military would be 0749 hours.

We all went upstairs to the viewing area to actually see you for the first time. At the time the best we could do was look at you on the other side of a window while you were being cleaned, weighed and measured. It was terrific to see you! It wouldn’t be until the next day that we could hold you and give you and your Mom a kiss.

And that’s exactly what we did! We saw you for the next three days and then Nona and I had to leave to go visit some friends in Rochester, New York and then home to Georgia. It is planned that we will see you again on the 24th of October, just about 5 weeks from now. We hope time goes by very quickly because we miss you a lot!

As you know by now if your Mom or dad are reading this to you or you’re reading it your self that you come from two wonderful families with two different but equally wonderful cultures.
Your middle name Charles is in honor of your Great Grandfather Charles Joyce. A good man who tried his best to raise his family so they would have a firm understanding of the difference between right and wrong. He also was proud of his Irish heritage and passed that love onto your Grandmother Joyce, Dad and Uncle Trent. I encourage you to embrace your Irish roots.

Your Mom and her family come from the Philippines. I don’t know a lot about that culture so I can’t tell you about it but I can tell you a little about Lolo Mike. He is one of the nicest, kindest people that I’ve ever met in my life. He has a gentle heart and soul that is so obvious when you meet him for the first time. I also know that his life is better now because of you. I pray that you embrace your Philippine heritage.

Of course the predominate culture amongst all of us is that of America and I hope that you embrace those roots also and help make us better.

All our love and thank you for being you,

Nona and Grandfather Verde

Wednesday: Tribe of Dad – Behind The Music

Resist. Multiply.

Footnotes:

1. Lolo and Lola in Tagalog means Grandfather and Grandmother

2. Grandma Etta is Stella’s mother, Karaoke Mike’s ex-wife

3. Mason is Dalton’s very cute, very happy older cousin

Hello Dalton!

I am Grandfather Verde saying hello and welcoming you into a family that is so full of love for you.

At this time I live with Nona in Hull, a small town near Athens Georgia. Athens is the home of the University of Georgia. Perhaps it is a college that you might consider attending if it meets all of your needs and wants when it is time to go to college.

Another reason I’m writing you is to tell you about the days before and after the day you were born, August 18th 2008. I know there are lot of pictures and mementos of that day and I wanted to include our personal point of view.

The Doctor’s said that you were to be born on August 19th, a Tuesday. And since we live in Georgia and the hospital that you were going to be born in is in New Jersey, Nona and I had to make plans to get to New Jersey to be there at the right time. Unfortunately no one really knows the exact time a baby is going to be born so we had to make our travel plans and hope for the best.

Because the cost of flying was so expensive and the cost of gas started to be cheaper we decided to drive to New Jersey instead of taking a plane. If you were born earlier than the 19th we would have flown to New Jersey no matter what.

We left our home on Friday the 15th of August and arrived in New Jersey on Saturday the 16th . That same afternoon we went to your Uncle Trent and Aunt Janet’s apartment to have a cook out with your Mom and Dad. Of course your cousin Mason was there.

Mom brought a very dear friend of hers, Aqualine to join us that afternoon. She was born in Zimbabwe Africa and met your Mom when they were both in high school in New Jersey. They formed a special bond that has lasted all these years. I learned today, your first month birthday that Aqualine is going to be your Godmother A Godmother’s job is to protect her godchild and always lookout for him. She is also to help with your spiritual growth if asked by your Mom and Dad. A special job for a special person.

Your Mom’s friendship with Aqualine and her other friends in a way defines her. Regardless of the culture, color or language your Mom looks at a person purely as a human being. Unfortunately not everyone can do that or is willing to try to put aside prejudices that we learn throughout life. Your Father is such a person as he looks at people for who they are not what they are. Yes, your parents are very good people.

I suspect you will hear more languages the first few years of your life than most other children in the world. You are fortunate, blessed and loved.

The day after the cook out I played golf with my friend Fred. That night Nona and I went to dinner with Fred and his wife Gail and talked about what was going to happen in the next few days….you were arriving!!!

On Monday the 18th we received a phone call from your Dad telling us that he and your Mom were in the hospital. Nona and I left immediately for Hackensack Medical Center to wait for you.

When we got to the waiting room we saw your Grandmother Joyce, Aunt Nancy (actually I think she is your Great Aunt) and Lola Etta. Your Dad would come out of the birthing room every once in awhile to let us know how your Mom was feeling and the latest guess of when you were going to be born. Uncle Trent called a lot to check on things and to let me know how soon he was going to be at the hospital to join the family in the waiting room. He was very concerned that Lolo Mike wasn’t there and wanted to pick him up at the house your Mom and Dad shared with him. The same house you lived in after you came home from the hospital. You see there was some concern that Lolo wouldn’t be able to find the hospital. It seems that he has a reputation of not being the world’s best driver.

But you know who showed up in the waiting room right on time. That’s right Lolo Mike. Nothing was going to keep him from being in the hospital when his first Grandson was born. He showed everybody that they were wrong.

Uncle Trent also arrived before you did. We were all so excited!!

One of the people that couldn’t be in the hospital to greet you as soon as you arrived was your Great Grandmother Joyce. She had a cold at the time and didn’t want to risk the chance of giving you or your Mom a cold. She would going to wait until she felt all better before she saw you. It wasn’t easy for her to wait to see you but it was the best thing to do.

One time your father came out and said that you were going to be delivered within the hour but first he had to get dressed in doctor’s clothes so he could help your Mom and see you the very second you were born.  There were complications and things could get a bit hairy, but…

Tomorrow: Grandpa Gives A Shout Out (part dos)

Resist. Multiply.