Recently I had our front storm door fixed. Apparently the glass within it is very heavy and the door itself is not a high grade of metal to sustain its weight. This was all done before I owned the door (house included in that expense) and I really did not have much to do with its issues.

At any rate, the hinges became bent, the screws became unstable, and the door closing device broke completely. The storm door was a problem, and one in which I could not fix myself.

My father and wife both urged me to replace the door, but I am of the frame of mind that you don’t throw something away without investigating a possible fix that can delay the inevitable. I would much prefer to spend a few bucks than all of them. Call me old fashioned. Old Fashioned Dean - that has a nice ring to it.

Anyway, I decided to call my local handy man. Let’s call him Handy Bob (instead of Handy Manny). This guy is an eighty something year old man who is a terrific person, as well as a great “fixer”. He came the very next day from when I called him and he spent two hours moving the hinges and basically saving me time, money, and aggravation. I used him to replace steps that were broken at our party a few weeks ago, too.

Why am I writing about this whole event? Well for one thing I realize it is not terribly interesting, but I also wanted to make a simple point that I think might be lost on people of my generation or on our society as a whole.

Put simply: we tend to throw out things that don’t work in today’s society. We often don’t take the time to repair broken items. Sure sometimes it is cost effective to do this, but sometimes it is not. Today it cost me 50 dollars (plus a twenty dollar tip - one that I wanted to give for Handy Bob’s quick help) to fix a door that was a little down on its luck. Remember the line from the movie Sea Biscuit? - “You don’t throw away a whole life just ’cause it’s banged up a little.” The same is true of a door or anything for that matter. The quick thing to do is to replace it, but it is not always the right thing to do. Sometimes right is harder, but worth it in the end. I was happy to replace the door if it needed to be, but luckily it could be fixed. Life is like that, too. However, it usually doesn’t take two hours to fix a life.

Enough said.

Resist. Multiply. Don’t throw away a door just ’cause it’s banged up a little.

This is the last official month of my two year tour of duty taking care of Jacob and being dubbed the primary caregiver. I am trying my best to enjoy each moment, but it is hard to realize that a situation that I have come to know and love is coming to an end. Like I have said in past posts, everything must come to an end.

Easier said than done.

With change comes uncertainty and maybe even a little nervousness. Though I am excited for the future - for the prospect of greater independence and social maturity for Jacob - I remain a little sad that I will not be there for every moment. I guess that is reality. That’s the natural order of things. I will have three months of painting to come to terms with it.

Side note: Recently, Jacob has really developed a great sense of communication with Bridget and myself. He is talking so much and expressing so much lately. It’s pretty rad. I am happy that he is so expressive and that he understands even more when he is spoken to by either Bridget or myself.

Additional Side Note: Last weekend Bridget and I threw an awesome party in our backyard. We had plenty of food, drinks, and good music for our guests to enjoy. The forecast was bad, however. Earlier in the day I asked two of my buddies to come by and help me put up a tarp to ensure that wet weather would not ruin the festivities. Jacob had a ball running around the backyard while we managed to hook up this tarp.  It did rain, and the crew that remained latest stayed dry under our tarp. Good times. (Flip cup - a popular college game - was a main attraction and a trip down memory lane for many of us.) Only one casualty of the party - the back steps broke under the weight of one of my buddies. They had rotted and have since been replaced by a competent handy man my father is friends with. Jacob thought he was a real life “Handy Manny”.

Back on track: Life is short and it is important to cherish the good times. I plan to have some more friends over this whole summer and enjoy the company that they bring. I plan to enjoy my son and my current situation as long as I can. I will always be his father and he will always be my son, but that dynamic is an ever-changing one. That’s cool with me.

Resist. Multiply. Play some flip cup.

Hey I know it is unpopular to say, but I love a good rainy day. Of course, this time of year we are all hoping for some sun and warm weather, but I am still okay with a few rainy days in a row. Recently in NJ we’ve hit some back-to-back days of rain, but it is okay because warmer, sunnier weather is in the forecast. Besides, without the rain, all the flowers, plants, and grass will not grow to all its beautiful splendor. We need the rain, brother and sisters.

I just bought a cool new product called Scott’s EZ Seed and I am eagerly waiting to see if it works as well as it claims to work. Time will tell, but in the meantime I am happy to have some rain everyday because it means less work on my part. So do you get what I mean, people? Rain is not such a bad thing - as long as it happens during the work week. Weekend rain is out. We don’t want or need you then. Enough said.

Other Thoughts:

My time with Jacob in the current situation we are in (me at home from teaching, only working two days a week painting) is almost over. With less than two months left on my 20 month tour of duty, I am beginning to feel a little sad about having to leave the little warrior. Though I am a firm believer that change is good and that Jacob is ready for nursery school, it is still hard to know that next year at this time, I will be knee deep in twenty other kids’ lives. Sure I enjoy the impact I make as a teacher, but nothing compares to the impact I have felt as Jacob’s father. That will always be the best feeling - seeing him grow and learn is the ultimate. 

Nevertheless, I am thankful for my time and my chance to do what I’ve done. I know how lucky I am, and how much this has given me as a father. It is hard to put into words. Of course, as I type this post out I can hear the warrior from his crib. He’s supposed to be napping, but instead he is shouting, “I pooped daddy, I pooped!” I think I will have to tend to that disaster now. Until next time…

Resist. Multiply. Change a dirty diaper.

With changes in the weather come yard work and more time spent outside. After a three hour nap today, Jacob needed some exercise and Bridget and I needed to clean up our backyard. We have these really annoying gum tree seeds that take over our yard in late fall/early winter. Usually we do not get a chance to clean them all up before the first snow. As Owen once wrote about how a new snow makes everything look pristine, we forget about the sins of these huge gum tree seeds and we don’t think of them again until now. Of course, by now we have millions of these little bastards in the lawn, embedded in the mud, and under the shrubs, etc. 

So with rake, shovel, lawn bags, gloves, and a full-of-energy almost two year-old, Bridget and I entered our fenced in backyard and let the boy loose. He is so funny because for months he has been able to have free range of the house, but outside has really consisted of a walk to the car and a walk from the car. He was so excited that he tripped on the first pile of gum tree seeds we made. He fell with a loud thud on his hands and proceeded to lie still until I came over to help him up. “Jacob went boom.”

A few weeks ago in an attempt to take a cool picture of Jacob playing in the snow, I brought him outside for a total of five minutes. It took almost twenty minutes before that to get him into a snow suit, boots, mittens, a snow jacket, and a hat. The picture is priceless, however, and well worth the effort. This was before the sins (gum tree seeds) could be seen.

I think his face says it all. It is awesome to see how such simple things can bring happiness to the little man. That said, there is no longer any snow and so I digress to the “interesting find” of today’s adventure in the lawn.

As I worked hard to remove as many seeds as I could, Bridget was busy raking more piles for me to load into the lawn bags. Jacob was entertaining himself - stacking rocks, picking up seeds when he wanted to help a bit, and running around having a grand time. At one point I looked up and saw him chewing. This was not good, I remember thinking, because we had brought only water outside with us. Of course, I was not overly concerned because of my fixation with gum tree seeds. I yelled over to Bridget, “He’s got something in his mouth!” 

At that point, Bridget turned into super mom and ran right for Jacob. “What did you eat? What did you eat? Dean, get over here, please!” 

I put down my shovel and a few hundred gum seeds, rushed over to where they were standing, and worked my hand into Jacob’s mouth. He was still chewing, and when I got my fingers inside he stopped and smiled up at me. The kid is cute, and even with a mouthful of dirt he looks adorable. Bridget was worried he ate something poisonous, but luckily we don’t have anything like that in our backyard. Instead, the boy had an organic meal packed with minerals. A sippy cup of water later, and he was cured. 

Needless to say, Bridget and Jacob left the yard hand in hand, and returned to the warmth and safety of our living room. I tended to the gum tree seeds and filled five more bags. 

We’re going to have to watch this little warrior as Spring approaches. This video I found is even stranger - the older kids in it should be ashamed of themselves. 

Resist. Multiply. Eat dirt.

One more snowfall, and it would have happened.  At least that’s what the contractor said, and I believe him.  Stella and I are spending a lot of money we don’t have on something that offers not much of a reward.  The exterior wall of our garage was crumbling from both water damage and the evil, threatening Termite.  The wall was done, screaming,”No mas.  Fix me.  Fix me now, even if Owen is staying home with Dalton and not working for three months, earning money.  Fix me.”

With a flat garage roof, right who the hell designs flat roofs anymore, or at least in the past 50 years of modern design, and all the snowfall we’ve had lately make for a dangerous combination.  A collapse was imminent, never mind just the exterior wall, the support, the whole garage was in jeopardy.  It had to be done.  So, the reconstruction we can’t afford has begun.  It’s all in the timing, and the timing is terrible.  A lot of money spent on a glorified storage bin.

Metaphor #1

Easy parallels can be drawn between our weak garage, the faltering economy and the bailout package that is supposedly going to right all the wrongs of the past 25 years.  A collapse was unavoidable, just like our glorified closet, the garage.

It’s as if a car went wild and recklessly drove through Wall Street, crashing into the storefronts of all the gluttonous lending institutions, and committing the heinous crime of hit and run, striking down millions of hard working people, leaving them financially maimed, unemployed and asking that universal question,”Why me?  What do I have to do with this?”

Actually, seriously, a car did drive through the exterior wall of our garage.  No.  Seriously.  It happened years ago by the previous owner; she was an elderly woman, and well, elderly woman tend to not only park their cars in their garages, but sometimes they drive right through them.  Of course, her sons forgot to tell Stella and I this when we bought the house.  Of course.  Her son’s had minor work done, some patchwork, but the accident obviously off set the garage, hence the water damage, and failing wall.

We found all this out by a kind neighbor after the contractor left from giving us an estimate for our mysteriously crumbling garage wall.  The story was told, the news was reported, and the collapse began, no more mystery.  We’re bailing out the garage(subliminal - economy) with money (subliminal - stimulus package) we don’t have.  Sound familiar?  Life metaphors are everywhere – look out your window, look into the mirror – they’re easy to find.

Metaphor #2

Novice is what it reads on my stay at home dad badge and trying to follow a schedule, getting Dalton into a napping regimen is impossible when the house is vibrating, humming, and creaking from the garage reconstruction.  Sound travels quickly, very. It moves at 767 miles per hour, or about one mile in five seconds.  As Dalton’s tired eyes blink one more time closer to unconsciousness, the sound of a nail gun shooting into our new garage frame, wakes him right up, a bit more frustrated and cranky.   No delay there, nail shot into a 2 by 4, baby’s eye blinks wide open.  Instant.

Change, or grasping the personal impact of it travels differently for me; it is a lot slower. Never mind 767 miles per hour; I’m on a four month delay.  When Stella told me she was pregnant in December I came to terms with it in April.  Dalton was born in August, and just this winter did I begin to feel the heavy, heavy weight of being a father, and then I added the 800 lb. gorilla in the corner called life long responsibility to the weight bar already resting on my anxious chest.  The realization of change travels slow for me, painfully. It has been an adjustment, since being at home with Dalton. I’ve had to do some Owen Scott reconstruction.  I’m like, everyone else, a work in progress.  Construction is hard work, and if you’re going to do it right, it takes time.

The garage, the economy, and myself are being reworked.  The winter has been cold, and long, but…(see you tomorrow)

Tomorrow: Act II - Costa Rica Road Blocks

Resist. Multiply. Look For Your Metaphors.

A week ago we had massive rainstorms as a result of the hurricanes that have been plaguing the southern states.  I cannot complain too much.  We needed the rain and the storms provided a perfect chance to stay indoors, hang out as a family, and watch as the water rushed all around us.  Jacob enjoyed the storms.  He seems fearless as of late and he always likes a new event.  He is different from me when I was a kid.  I was so shy and scared by things.  Jacob is not.

Back to the point: A few days later in a sunnier moment, Bridget went to give a piano lesson and discovered dry watermarks all over it.  She called to me and I came into the room that housed our beautiful upright piano.  After close inspection we saw that the piano was fine, but that there was a stain and some flaking on the ceiling. Nothing to be alarmed at for the painter in me, but still something that concerned us both since we had not had this experience before in our home.

I decided to call my father-in-law, who is a wealth of knowledge in these situations.  He suggested I call a roofer.  He gave me the name and number of a friend of his.  He told me to mention his name.  I joked with him and said that that might add ten percent to the price.  He laughed and told me to go to hell.  A minute later I was making an appointment to have the roof looked at.

The next day our trusted roofer came to the house and took a closer outside look.  I had already decided that I was not going to touch the inside damage until the outside was fixed.  After all, there was no point until that outside opening was repaired.  The roofer, Chris, came inside after he put some tar on the shingles.  We talked for a bit and he told me that the roof was old, in need of repair, and that I might want to consider replacing the whole thing.  What started out as a hundred dollar hiccup multiplied into about 50 more hiccups.

At lunch that day, Bridget and I discussed our ailing roof, and she agreed that we should go ahead and be proactive instead of reactive.  I called Chris and told him to come and bring me a contract – we were getting ourselves a new roof.

After paying the deposit I had to wait only a few short days for the new roof to be applied.  On Tuesday of the next week, Chris and his crew arrived at our home and took off three layers of old roof and put down the new one – all in one day!  Jacob and I left for the majority of the day in order to ensure he took naps and I did not get a headache from all the hammering.

When we returned home we had a beautiful brand new roof and the problems should not occur again.  It was a joy to work with Chris.  He understands, like my father and father-in-law, that service is what sells the job.

Tuesday: Music Class – Jacob enters the world of other Children

Resisting. Multiplying. Repairing?