This guy is a buddy of mine. He is one tough mother. Check out his latest victory.

A friend to our blog and all-around bada$$, Jamie Varner, was featured in a cool article last month. We interviewed the man last year, but this piece of press is pretty rad, too. Hopefully he will get back in the ring if and when his hand heals. We here at TRIBE are pulling for him.

Check it out below:

Resist. Multiply. Root for Varner.

A friend of mine recently went out and got really drunk. No problem with that, right?

WRONG!

He and his buddies decided to get matching bicep tattoos that read…..well see below.

Luckily, he has the guns to pull this off. Next year when he is teaching physical education or coaching wrestling - I hope a student tries his patience - so he can show off this beauty.

Resist. Multiply. I Should’ve Killed You Yesterday.

So today I made the trek back to the town that I taught in for six seasons before Jacob came along. It was with trepidation and some excitement that I entered the new building (an old building I had previously worked at to start my career) and entered the principal’s office. Like a kid in school I was full of nervous anticipation as to what was to come next. The truth was that I had manipulated the situation to my favor. I had in fact waited patiently for a chance to change schools, grade levels, and perhaps even myself. After two wonderful years at home with Jacob, my time is nearing an end in this capacity, at least.

Recently I wrote a piece about wrestling where I tried to eloquently make comparisons about life in terms of six minutes (the length of most wrestling bouts) and how small an amount of time that really is.  Life is the larger event and the more substantial or meaningful piece in the time equation. Live it well. Basically what we all know is that time waits for none of us. It does not stand still and it certainly does not know how to expand to give us more of it. Simply put, my time with Jacob is and always was working as a count down and not the other way around. After two excellent years at home with the little warrior I am beginning to realize that reality.

Nevertheless, I will not complain or feel sad about the fact that next year at this time I will be completing my first year back in school. I have to move on and so does Jacob. Life is not meant to be lived standing still. It is important for me to journey back to teaching other children, and it is equally important for Jacob to begin his adventure in school. Next year he will have his grandma (my retired mother) looking after him two days a week and the rest of the time he will be tearing it up in nursery school. This is all part of growing up. Jacob is ready and so am I. (I think Bridget is ready, too. We’ll see when we get to that first day of school. Tears are expected for sure.)

So after a few minutes of talking with my new principal in my new school with a new mindset beginning to unfold, I quickly began to switch gears and transition back into a life I knew so well before Jacob ever entered the equation. This time I am wiser, stronger, more seasoned; despite two full years away from the game. Being a parent has and will continue to make me a better educator. I look at everything differently now and I think about my experiences at home, knowing that I can make a strong difference in the lives of my students. I also realize how important time with my family is. I cherish it and I always will put Bridget and Jacob first before any school work or situations related to school. 

There is no room for sadness on my part. I am lucky. Not many dads get the chance to do what I have done. I am thankful for my time - even if it seems to be speeding up lately. I have more of it, I remind myself. It will change in a few months, but what doesn’t change? Life is like that and Jacob will learn that someday, too. What’s crucial is to enjoy every moment along the way.

Resist. Multiply. Take time to enjoy your family.

Recently the wrestling season drew to an abrupt close. One of my warriors went down to Atlantic City to compete in the prestigious NJ State Wrestling Tournament. As a freshman he entered the tournament with 34 wins - quite impressive and something to be proud of. Of course, the outcome was not desired, as he lost by a major decision in his first and only bout. Nevertheless, it got me thinking about my yearly Region speech and I used the experience to draft another letter to put it all in perspective. Keep in mind this letter is meant to be read to the coaches, parents, and wrestlers at our Region dinner. So far it is a rough copy, but here is what I have down as of tonight:

Everyone in this room has been shaped by the experiences of his or her life.  It’s those experiences that make us who we are and who we are going to become.  As a coach, I know I speak for many of the coaches here tonight, when I say that a lot of what we articulate and do during a wrestling season does not always have to deal directly with wrestling per se.  In many ways the words we use, the stories we tell our athletes are often our best explanation for the journey of life that we are all travelers.  Wrestling is just that vehicle for us to drive a point across.  The truth is that you get to be a spectator longer than you get to be a competitor.  If you stay involved with this sport like so many of us, you will wind up watching more matches than you ever wrestled.  Think about that for a second. It seems hard to realize this reality, but ask any coach or parent here tonight and he or she will tell you this is true. 

Having been connected to wrestling for more than half of my life now, I have found that as I grow and evolve my perspective and relationship with the sport grows and evolves, as well. Ask the coaches in this room to tell you about the best match they saw or were involved with, and you will see faces light up.  Vivid descriptions and recounting of those six minutes will make you feel like you were right there, too.  A coach’s memory is a powerful motivator.  There has probably been a point in which a story is told so many times that it reaches an almost legendary status within the walls of your wrestling room. Sure the adjectives and verbs that illuminate the tale may get grander each time it is told, but the truth still lies in the coach’s message – triumph, victory, overcoming adversity, never giving up – are all at the heart of such stories. The match or the wrestler described takes on a significance that is deeper than just a final score.

At the same time, ask any coach here to tell you about the worst match they saw or took part.  Some might even begin to tear up or find it hard to pick the right words when recounting these tales. Again, the message is not just about the outcome – it almost always goes to something deeper and more meaningful. “He lost that match and decided he had to work harder.  The next day he went for a 5 mile run.”

The tough reality is that everything that begins must also come to an end. From the moment you step on the mat as a freshman, the clock is ticking to the end of the season and eventually the end of your high school career. The parents in this room can attest to the fact that it probably seemed like yesterday that you were taking your first steps and now you are closer and closer to walking on your own as an adult in the real world.  Time does not stop for any of us.  Even during the final match of your season this year, there may have been a point where you thought, “Wow. This is it. It is ending. This is real and it’s happening right now.”

A lot of life can be like that. There will be highs and lows much like a wrestling match. There will be times when you dominate and really control things.  There will be other moments that seem bleak and you might even feel powerless. It’s in those times that you should always remember what wrestling has given you – that drive to get back to your feet and fight back. You cannot win every time, but you sure can try.

And so the stories will live on forever, as long as there is someone to tell them.  Wrestling is about so much more than just the six minutes a match takes to come to a conclusion.  A lot of this sport takes place before and after the final buzzer sounds.  Anyone who has ever wrestled, coached, or seen a wrestling match understands the devotion and work ethic that get developed in this sport.  Remember that when adversity comes your way in life.  Remember that as long as you are alive and capable you can do almost anything you set your mind to accomplish. Remember that the stories we tell about you are not just about a fantastic match or an amazing victory.  Remember that you cannot change the past, but you can reshape the present and make a significant mark on your future. 

If you ended this season or your career having come up short of your goals, do something about it.  Don’t let another chapter in your life go unfinished. 

**I don’t know if Jacob will ever wrestle, but sometimes I hope he will just to understand the lessons I have learned from participation in the sport. Of course, I know enough not to push it upon him. It is too hard a sport to have it forced on him.**

For Donna & Strummer
Tibet is far, far way from northern New Jersey, but yet it has profoundly impacted me.  Not only it is geographically removed from the place of my upbringing, it is vastly different when it comes to well, s@#t, everything, particularly when dealing with spirituality, humility, and a plethora of metaphysical characteristics and spiritual attributes.

Joe Strummer, a man, a musical icon, a legend I have never, ever met has had a profound impact on me as well.  Hell, Stella and I named our beloved four-legged friend after him.  Joe Strummer was from another generation, another continent, an entirely different culture from what I am familiar with, but, yet, like Tibet I understand it, or understand it the best way my sole, biased perceptions allow me to.

I might not understand their entire stories, but I have a healthy grasp on some of the narratives. All of this came to my mind early this cold, cold morning, while the winter wind blew in my face and in an insulting tone, said,”I’m not going anywhere.  Do you see the fresh snow I just dumped on the east coast?”

Yellow Snow
Strummer, not the musician, the dog, replied for me by urinating on the freshly fallen, pure snow.  No longer white, no longer virgin like, tainted acidic yellow.  Now, there’s a Tibetan Buddhist lesson for you when it comes to permanency, or impermanence.  Things fall apart, white snow can easily turn yellow.  (Thanks for sticking up for me Strummer, and letting winter know I’m done with it, and it’s stubborn, grumpy holding on.) Again I drifted off into my a.m. thoughts while Strummer, with his nose to ground, sifted through the snowfall for a place to add a brown tint to his already yellow, and white pallet.

Café con Leche
A car horn brought me to.  A car horn at this time of morning?  I looked up, and it was the contractors, the fine gentlemen who are working on our garage.  They came this early, chill morn to do some touch up work, and get ready to move onto the next stage of the Verde Expansion project, widen the driveway, and make it look pretty, like a valet drive up at a pretentious restaurant that looks better than the food tastes. The workers are good people.  I always provide them with coffee, water, and a little snack, or in their language café, agua, y un bocado pequeño. They speak not a word of English, allowing me to practice my Spanish, preparing me for Costa Rica, and the inevitable future.

I even add,”Usted quiere café con leche?” (do you want a particular type of a coffee beverage) Always they react with surprise and just as much respect as I showed them.  Always they wear humble grins on their faces, very appreciative of my very bad Spanish.  I try a little; they reciprocate a lot.   The world could work that way, could, should?

A Broken Heart
Strummer did his job and barked at them, perhaps a bit too aggressively, but as stated in the past he does take his work seriously and has elevated his professionalism with the birth of Dalton.  The men are strangers, so… We headed into our warm home.  Strummer manned the window, taking a good look at the workers circling around our house, getting ready for the workday.  He barked some more, and then laid down on one of his three pillows strategically located around the house.  I headed to the kitchen to make some coffee para mis amigos.

Unfortunately, this winter Strummer has been spending a lot of time napping, and mopping around the house, sort of like Dalton and myself.  The winter is our jailer, and we’re doing time. Every time Strummer, my main man, comes to my side, trying to get my attention, a paw, or friendly nudge signaling, hey, let’s run around outside, or let’s go for a walk, or hey, let’s tassel, I sadly have to send him to his “place”, one of his three comfy pillows.  He’s not being punished, he thinks he is, but Dalton is in need, and going outside in 23 degree March weather doesn’t fit into his regal schedule.  Sorry Strummer, it breaks my heart every time I have to do it.  Spring is coming soon, change will soon be upon us.

Tibetan Glue (finally for Donna)
Change is needed for Strummer, for the weather, and for me.  I’ve been in a ’strange’ place, a very different place, an enigmatic zone of potentially vast growth, but like change, growth is slow and at times painful.  Some friends, loved ones have noticed the periodically puzzled, bewildered look on my face, one of them being Donna, Stella’s close childhood friend.  Donna, too, has gone through much change, all of it being profoundly good, and enlightening.  Lately, she has been beaming, and full of life and enthusiasm, a place I want to be, take residence in.

She wrote me a caring letter, offering suggestions.  She suggested this:

Get back to Tibet

Not literally, but figuratively, a decade ago, wow, 10 years already, when Stella and I initially met we both had a common interest and passion for the kind, altruistic ways of Tibetan Buddhism.  Throughout the years, well life, gets in the way of life, and we lost our way, therefore the meekness, and rejuvenating powers that practicing , meditating brings when following, even loosely, the ways of Buddhism.

I listened to Donna; I listened to myself.  She was right; I had to get back on the meditative horse.  A catalyst was needed, and I found one just at the right time.  In Nyack, NY, a 30 minute car ride north I recently attended a benefit/gathering for Tibetan orphans.  The function was very spirited and attended by several Tibetan monks, musicians, and well meaning citizens.  The feel of the room was warm, divine, and full of zest, just what the doctor ordered a.k.a Donna and my sagging heart.  From there I gained some perspective, and some websites, yep websites.  A mile a minute I spoke to Stella about the event’s happenings and the website that will lead us to a Buddhist Monastery located in our very own NJ.

The weekend of March 14th, Stella and I are attending introduction meditation classes held at the monastery, taught by Tibetan monks.  Its the first step in a long journey.  I’m excited.  It’s the Tibetan glue needed to put together this NJ man child.  A Bodhisattva? No. Not yet, but I’m ready to prostrate and bring back balance to my own internal force.

Wrap It Up, B, Wrap It Up
I brought the steaming hot coffee outside, butchered some more of the Spanish language, looked around, and got excited for next weekend’s pilgrimage to southern New Jersey.  It’s not Lhasa but it will do.  Dalton was sleeping, so I did the same, a meditative cat nap, wink, wink.  When I wake up I will email Donna thanking her.

For those who are interested here is the link to the organization assisting Tibetan orphans.  There is an amazing story behind the founders. Investigate.

Tibetan Home of Hope

Up Next: Team Rash, Does anyone remember surfing?

Resist. Multiply. Meditate.

Continued…

By the time January rolls around, the holidays have been filled with enough wrestling, talk of wrestling, and even thought of wrestling to really take the fun out of the presents and produce the guilt that accompanies overeating at any family gathering when weight is such an issue. By now, wrestling season has become an obsession for the supremely good, and a chance for a seasoned coach or a rookie to get really excited about a “star” wrestler. The workouts intensify, and the season of quad matches, tri-meets, and regular duals begins to bolt by at a rapid succession. While other sports take their time to meet and discuss what will happen at practice that day, wrestlers and coaches spend little time talking and more time “doing”. There is never enough time to work on counters, perfect offensive takedowns, drill escapes, practice pinning combinations, and develop mental toughness. As important as it is for the wrestler to be physically strong and in shape, it is equally crucial that his mind also be tough – full of resolve to prove himself every time he steps out onto the mat. He must be able to block out all distractions and focus on his goals if he ever wants to reach them or exceed them. 

February has finally arrived and all that demanding work will hopefully pay off. The time for the tournaments has come and the mental aspect of the sport has to kick in.  It is do or die time. Wins are the ideal, and even if they come by one point or in overtime, they are accepted with little time to really enjoy them. A loss is always devastating, but if it does not mean the end of the season or career, then the wrestler must push forward and recover quickly. There simply is not enough time to wallow in self-pity. 

The truest measure of a wrestler’s character comes in these final weeks. Whether he wins his tournaments and is able to place or even win the state tournament is not entirely at the heart of his character. The journey to the moments in March when the best get to show what all that grueling hard work has done for them is where character is revealed. Remember in this game only 14 young men will be truly happy and possibly a bit relieved when it is all said and done. The rest will have to rely on the lessons learned when someone humbled them, when they hit a breaking point in practice, or when they had difficulty making weight after doing it so many times before.  

This is why these young men step off the mats in March as champions even if they have not won that particular match. The point in all this, of course, is to win, but the reality is that the matches will fade with enough time, and the lessons learned will be all that remains. Hard work is not a sometimes thing. It is what produces greatness when greatness was not present at first. As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Remember what it took to get to this moment in your wresting life. Remember that you are able to take away from this sport more meaningful relationships with your coaches and your teammates, and by now you have the self assurance that anything in your life can be accomplished with enough determination and perseverance. Use that knowledge as you reach new milestones in your life. Don’t forget to enjoy the wins and not to fixate on the losses along the way.  

Recently I got an article published in Wrestling USA Magazine, a national publication for high school, college, and Olympic wrestling. For the next two weeks I will be busy with the end of the high school season. Four of my warriors are wrestling in the NJ Region 4 Tournament this weekend. Hopefully all four will make it to the NJ State Tournament in Atlantic City next weekend. Below is the text of the article. Enjoy.

It is neither bold nor boastful to think that wrestling is by far the toughest high school sport offered to young people today. There simply is no other sport out there like it. Before you even step on the mat to compete there is a veritable laundry list of things that have to happen first in order to prepare a wrestler for that ultimate test of his character and his ability to rise to the occasion.

New to our sport is the hydration test where the athlete must maintain a hydrated state while being at the lowest weight possible. Body fat percentages are measured using special scales and a print out of the safest weight a wrestler can work towards prior to the start of the first practice. Then the season kicks off and young men begin the longest season of any high school sport. Thanksgiving represents the last big meal for those who take it seriously and want to achieve all their goals. The first weeks are filled with drills, running, lifting, live wrestling, muscle aches, sore backs and necks, cauliflower ear, bloody noses, black eyes, more live wrestling, and enough conditioning to make even the strongest of stomachs a little bit queasy. Then there is the opening weekend, a chance to showcase talents that most have worked longer than a few weeks to perfect, and the opportunity to foreshadow the promise that this season will be each wrestler’s best yet. 

To be continued…

Resist. Multiply. Enough said.

Today I saw an interesting story about a 73 year old man who went back to college and is now playing on the basketball team at Roane State.

Here’s the quick description of the situation from this video clip below:
“Ken Mink missed out on his second year of juco basketball 53 years ago when he joined the Air Force. It’s something he’s always regretted. Today, he’s one of the Roane State Raiders and, at 73, possibly one of the oldest collegiate players in history.” 

As a person who still tries to fight being a thirty year old by wresting at practice with my athletes, it really puts me to shame.  Ken is doing what a lot of us wish we could do - getting something back from a time when youth ruled and regrets were few and far between. He’s getting closure - a thing we all could use a little more of at times. There are many days that I think about matches I had that I wished I could get back. There are many days I wish I could pause my life for a few weeks and experience that carefree time I had as a college wrestler. I didn’t know how good I had it, until it was in the past.

Of course, there are far more positive things happening in my life these days, but sometimes you can’t help but imagine what one more competition would be like. Maybe that’s why I am so passionate about coaching, and maybe that is why I will make sure I am involved in whatever events Jacob joins as he grows older.

In August of 2008 we interviewed Jamie Varner, WEC fighter and champion at his weight division.  He was kind enough to answer our questions. If you are interested in what he had to say - just check our previous pieces from early August by clicking on the tags below. 

Last night Jamie defended his title against Donald Cerrone.  We may even get a chance to meet this talented young man in a few weeks, as he travels to NJ to visit a friend we share in common.  

Check out the fight below.  It was a great one.

WEC 38: Jamie Varner vs. Donald Cerrone

Resist. Multiply. Support MMA.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of spending my full day (7 am – 7 pm) in the Kearny High School gymnasium.  I was coaching high school wrestling, of course.  This time around I had two new wrestlers to get pretty excited about.  I’ve been a coach for almost nine years now.  It’s the best way to keep my hand in the sport that has given me so much.  Anyway, I have two wrestlers this year who are both tough as nails.  Physically they are strong and aggressive.  Mentally they are even tougher.  Nothing seems to rattle their cages when they go out on the mat to do battle.  It has been a lot of fun working with them so far.

In fact, they remind me of three other wrestlers I coached a few years earlier.  Two of these three former champions came to me as freshman.  I am still in close contact with them all.  Each one wrestled in college and I think they all plan to coach.  Actually, one is currently coaching right now.  I think that is the ultimate compliment.  It means, to me, that I made an impact, or at least did what I could for them.

Back to my point – not since I coached these guys have I had talent like I am seeing today.  I am lucky to be able to say that so soon after coaching such good wrestlers in my first four seasons at the school.  I am excited to see if these new guys can surpass the legacy left behind by my former stars.  Time will tell.

Until then, realize one thing:  As far as I am concerned it is not the winter season, or the holiday season – it’s wresting season.

Up Next: Cleaning Out The Fridge

Resist. Multiply. Wear Your Headgear.

It is neither bold nor boastful to think that wrestling is by far the toughest high school sport offered to young people today.  There simply is no other sport out there like it.  Before you even step on the mat to compete there is a veritable laundry list of things that have to happen first in order to prepare a wrestler for that ultimate test of his character and his ability to rise to the occasion.

New to our sport is the hydration test where the athlete must maintain a hydrated state while being at the lowest weight possible.  Body fat percentages are measured using special scales and a print out of the safest weight a wrestler can work towards prior to the start of the first practice.  Then the season kicks off and young men begin the longest season of any high school sport.  Thanksgiving represents the last big meal for those who take it seriously and want to achieve all their goals.  The first weeks are filled with drills, running, lifting, live wrestling, muscle aches, sore backs and necks, cauliflower ear, bloody noses, black eyes, more live wrestling, and enough conditioning to make even the strongest of stomachs a little bit queasy.  Then there is the opening weekend, a chance to showcase talents that most have worked longer than a few weeks to perfect, and the opportunity to foreshadow the promise that this season will be each wrestler’s best yet.
By the time January rolls around, the holidays have been filled with enough wrestling, talk of wrestling, and even thought of wrestling to really take the fun out of the presents and produce the guilt that accompanies overeating at any family gathering when weight is such an issue.  By now, wrestling season has become an obsession for the supremely good, and a chance for a seasoned coach or a rookie to get really excited about a “star” wrestler.  The workouts intensify, and the season of quad matches, tri-meets, and regular duals begins to bolt by at a rapid succession.  While other sports take their time to meet and discuss what will happen at practice that day, wrestlers and coaches spend little time talking and more time “doing”.  There is never enough time to work on counters, perfect offensive takedowns, drill escapes, practice pinning combinations, and develop mental toughness.  As important as it is for the wrestler to be physically strong and in shape, it is equally crucial that his mind also be tough – full of resolve to prove himself every time he steps out onto the mat.  He must be able to block out all distractions and focus on his goals if he ever wants to reach them or exceed them.

February has finally arrived and all that demanding work will hopefully pay off.  The time for the tournaments has come and the mental aspect of the sport has to kick in.   It is do or die time.  Wins are the ideal, and even if they come by one point or in overtime, they are accepted with little time to really enjoy them.  A loss is always devastating, but if it does not mean the end of the season or career, then the wrestler must push forward and recover quickly.  There simply is not enough time to wallow in self-pity.

The truest measure of a wrestler’s character comes in these final weeks.  Whether he wins his tournaments and is able to place or even win the state tournament is not entirely at the heart of his character.  The journey to the moments in March when the best get to show what all that grueling hard work has done for them is where character is revealed.  Remember in this game only 14 young men will be truly happy and possibly a bit relieved when it is all said and done.  The rest will have to rely on the lessons learned when someone humbled them, when they hit a breaking point in practice, or when they had difficulty making weight after doing it so many times before.

This is why these young men step off the mats in March as champions even if they have not won that particular match.  The point in all this, of course, is to win, but the reality is that the matches will fade with enough time, and the lessons learned will be all that remains.  Hard work is not a sometimes thing.  It is what produces greatness when greatness was not present at first.  As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Wednesday: Manchester Dream

Resist. Multiply. Do What Has To Be Done.

Winter is near and the air is drawing colder with each day.  This is the time of year when I begin a journey with 15 to 20 high school students who are getting ready to embark on their sport - wrestling.  It is perhaps one of the toughest, most intense, most demanding sports offered to high school students in New Jersey.  I competed in high school and then in college.  Now I compete as a coach and hopefully a mentor to these young men.

Every year the Thanksgiving holiday precedes the first practice of this long, challenging season.  There are gallons of sweat and blood poured, thousands of drills practiced, miles of jump rope jumped, and countless bumps, bruises, and even some broken appendages.  Wrestlers, no matter what age or ability level, are tougher human beings than most others.  They exemplify sacrifice, discipline, and intestinal fortitude.  The best, know that they can do things that others cannot, and often are so confident, that others perceive them as cocky or arrogant.

My job over the next few months is to be the buffer between the ones that are on the team to participate, and the ones who are there to win championships individually and as a team.  I work with them all, but I only actually wrestle with those that can really hack it.

I’m 30 years old now and my body is battered in ways that most would say I’m crazy for still stepping on the mat and going toe to toe with seventeen year olds.  I’m able to teach them while I wrestle and I find this the most helpful thing to do.  Besides it makes me feel younger and I lose a ton of weight in the process.  I guess those are two extra benefits of being an “active” coach.

I’ll revisit wrestling again, but for now I just am starting to get that taste for it again.  Being a happy go lucky papa during the day is one thing, but knocking heads in the afternoon is also good for my soul.

I am not doing justice to how much I love this sport.  I’ll think of better words for next time.

Next Time: Letter To Grapplers Worldwide – A Better Explanation of What it Means to be A Wrestler

Resist. Multiply. Grapple.